Jade was just accepted and welcomed into her first school; a preschool for developmentally delayed children. This preschool is geared to helping these children learn how to interact with other children, and learn in a group environment and they are focused on those children's developmental delays to help them improve. My daughter was thrilled to begin her first school; but me as the parent was not.
Parental anxiety with a child's first school.
I was really quite nervous for my baby girl to begin her first school. She's only 3 years old, well actually not even! She turned 3 just this last week, so really she started preschool before she was even three! And to make matters worse, we live far enough away from the preschool that my daughter is given a bus ride! Ok, time to freak out! My baby girl on a BUS? No way!
I was all knots and anxiety and completely freaking out the week before my daughter was to begin her first school. We attended back to school night, I got to meet her new preschool teacher, her new speech therapist, and see the classroom. It's an amazing school by the way with amazing teachers. It definitely is a very ideal situation for a first school. I just wasn't ready to let my baby girl go yet.
Jade loved the classroom right away. There were so many new and exciting things to play with, and new kids to meet and create friendships. She warmed up to her teacher easily and honestly didn't want to leave when back to school night was over.
As I got Jade more and more prepared for her first day of school, the more and more I was unprepared emotionally.
Why does she has to go away to a preschool? I had a full extra year with her brothers before I started them in a preschool. But I see the need. She needs more assistance with her speech delay than i can give her. I need the help of those trained to help children in these situations to help my daughter. I understand why. It doesn't make it any easier on my heart.
I've written before about Jade's speech delay. With her in the infant toddler program, we were hoping that she would improve and bounce up to where other children of her age were. Yet she didn't. She remains far behind other children of her age in speech. She has a slight gross and fine motor skills delay as well, but I think most of that stemmed from not being able to understand or comprehend what we are trying to teach her. But with her third birthday, it means that she no longer qualifies for the infant toddler program. Our service coordinator has been amazing finding all the resources I could possibly need to help Jade and she's the one that helped get us lined up with this preschool so we can continue getting help for Jade's Speech therapy after she leaves the infant toddler program.
So we prepared Jade for her first day of school, I walked her to her bus and helped her climb those enormous stairs! I listened as both the bus driver and the assistants on the bus all explained "oh look at her! She's so tiny!" It was all I could do to contain the emotion. I waved good bye, said " I love you baby girl!" and watched as her bus drove away.
I walked into my house, calm and collected. The moment my front door shut, the flood gates opened and the water works had their way with me. It was a very unproductive morning. I couldn't contain my emotions for the next two hours. I could be found bursting into tears at any random sign of Jade, of which there are many.
My Daughter's experience with her first school.
Jade was excited yet unsure of what was going on the morning of her first day at her first school. She knew Mommy was getting her dressed and primped. She loves getting primped. She got a special breakfast of Apple cinnamon oatmeal which is her favorite and she got to hug and kiss her brothers goodbye as they left for their bus stop.
When it was time I helped Jade put on this foreign object onto her back called a backpack. What is this odd thing? She didn't quite know what to think of it, but she behaved well and left it on.
We walked to the bus. She had never seen a bus before. She wasn't sure what it was. As she timidly climbed the enormous steps I could feel her unrest. Was she going to be ok? Is she going to turn and reach for mommy and cry with fear?
Once she reached the top step, she turned, smiled and waved bye bye to mommy. Without fear she walked away with the bus assistant and got into her assigned car seat on the bus.
I didn't see her again for two and a half hours. When her bus arrived back home to drop Jade off, I rushed out to get her. She was all grins from ear to ear. She jabbered her typical way, even though I couldn't understand a word she said, I think she was telling me about her day.
I assume she had a great time, as she never clung to me once. She was completely fine with our separation, obviously a lot better than I was. The next day we had all day to ourselves and I enjoyed every minute with my darling daughter. Then she was back to preschool the day after. We went through the morning routine again and this time she knew what was coming.
When it was time to put on her jacket and backpack, she was dancing with delight. When her bus pulled into view, she squealed with joy and did a little skip in her step.
We've not yet had a bad moment of getting her onto her bus, or picking her up from her bus. I've met with her teacher to discuss Jade's IEP, and learned she is very comfortable in the classroom, loves the activities and is flourishing.
Finding peace with my daughter's first school.
It wasn't until Jade's IEP meeting that I finally felt calm about Jade's preschool. I knew the teachers were great, I knew her speech therapist was great, but I still struggled knowing how she was handling the classroom and I was struggling with being separated from my baby girl.
When I heard how well Jade had adapted to her new classroom and was playing well with the other kids, it put my mind at rest. We went over the curriculum that will be taught to Jade and all the opportunities she will have for learning and overcoming her speech delay and I'm feeling much more confident in letting her go each morning.
I still miss my baby girl when she leaves for her preschool twice a week. Thankfully it's only two hours long and I get her home quickly. I try to keep myself busy but I often find myself off balance. It's been 8 years since I haven't had at least one kid under foot, I almost don't know what to do with myself.
I have taken time to organize my week's schedule, clean the house, read a book, blog. And while it's nice to have that peace and quite to get a lot accomplished in such little time, I look forward to when that big yellow bus will be pulling in front of my house and giving me my baby girl back.
I've seen much improvement in my daughter since she has started her preschool, so I know this truly is the best thing for her. As a loving parent I'm learning oh so well that the best thing for my child is not always the easiest thing for me. But I do it anyway, because I love them and only want what's best for them.
Do you struggle with a child with developmental delays?
What are some of the struggles you have had to face?
How did you manage sending your baby/child off to their first school?
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! What a touching life story! My kiddo was 4 and he went to all day prek. But I honestly was ready for him to go! I had a 10 month old at home that was colicky and needed LOTS of attention and having my son go to school was just the break I needed. Now I bet when my youngest (and last) starts school, that’ll be a tough pill to swallow. Now neither will be on the bus (we live 1 blk from the school) but I’m pretty sure I’d freak out too. I was also worried about his first day and the anxiety that he would experience but he did fine and enjoyed going, which of course made the process easier for me. You have a precious family! And hope that she continues to develop as she needs
Thanks Amanda! My 1st two boys were really easy to send to school. They were ready and they were driving me crazy because I couldn’t keep up with them. They just had this thirst to learn and didn’t want me to be the teacher. My job for them was to be the mom, the cuddlier and nurturer. NOT the teacher. lol. Jade is the same way; but as you can see she is a special case and very different from her brothers and needs the extra TRAINED attention that I can’t give her.
I think it is very hard when your baby starts school. My mom said it was a very bitter sweet day when I started school (I’m HER baby. lol). It’s hard but nice at the same time.
Congrats Mom.My son is 3 and delayed however Iam way too scary to let my son go to school.
I would have been an emotional mess in your position! Great post, thanks for sharing.
My oldest son has ADHD, and my youngest possibly has speech problems. So I understand. The school they are in now sucks. Both of my kids got held back this year. I am going through the Board of Education to fight it. I can use any suggestions!
I hope things work out well and the experience is positive! I know how difficult this must be for you.Don’t let the baby see that. It will scare her!
Amber, you are such a courageous mama. My kids didn’t ride a bus until they were teenagers and even then I was apprehensive about how they would handle the cruelty that goes on in a bus full of teens.
Many hugs for you my dear!
Oh wow, I would have been a nervous wreck too, especially if it entailed a bus ride as well. I’m so glad to hear how well she did with the first day! I definitely does help also when they are excited. Great job mom and Jade!!
I loved this post so much, I really identified with it a lot. My now 4 year old son (Rhett) was dignosed with Autism around 2.5 and he also went through Infants and Toddlers here in Baltimore city, MD for that first year. They were so awesome with EVERYTHING ……..providing transport and setting up appts. for everything with the psychologist who diagnosed him and helping us rule out vision and hearing issues etc. by making appts. for us with those docs. etc. He was in a summer program before he was even diagnosed and after diagnosis was established, he qualifies for social security disability payments unusually quickly (which we def. needed) and was placed in the closest ELE program. From your daughters age I am guessing this is probably similar to what Rhett experienced last year. I felt almost the same way watching him step onto the big-boy bus which he actually loved, If I knew how…….I’d share a pic of of him getting on the bus on his first day last year! He did great and the teacher and assistant were awesome with him and he learned so much. This year is a different story though! I don’t know about your state but here in MD they have adopted some sort of integration statute or something where they put dev. dis. children into regular/average classrooms. Well first I should say that his father and were shocked at the end-of-year IEP meeting when they told us that he DID NOT qualify for ESY! I tried hard to get him into programs for the summer with no luck, by the time we had his IEP meeting and found this out EVERY free or cheap program and than some were totally booked up………….so you you may want to keep that in mind just in case your daughter gets caught in the loophole our son did! We both totally expected him to qualify for ESY (summer school) but they did not recommend it so he did not get it. We are also on a very low budget in our home too! Anyway….I could go on and on but I will simply close by saying that he just started pre-K in our local school this year and it has been tough so far trying to get our son what we know he needs in order to succeed in a pre-k class with non-dev. dis. children. Please feel free to email me if you ever want to talk or need any sort of advice at the email address I provided with this comment. Good luck wished to Jade for her exciting first school year, Rhett LOVED his! Remember ………consistency is key our D.D babies
Thank you for sharing your story Christina! It is definitely a trial working through all the loopholes that organizations put into place. If it hadn’t been for our Infant and toddler program service coordinator being so awesome and on top of things, we probably would have missed out on a lot of things that have really helped our home. I do know they offer a summer program if she doesn’t progress far enough this school year, but we will have a re-evaluation come March or April to see where she is at and if she needs it. Then she will be in the program again next year too. So I’m grateful to know that. I’m just terrified for when the Husband graduates school and we have to move…not sure how I’ll get our foot in the door in a new state/town and in the middle of the school year. But I’ll deal with that bridge next closer to the time and see where Jade is at developmentally then.
I’m glad that you found a program for her. I have 2 Autistic girls that I homeschool because our district doesn’t have the appropriate classes for them. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I’m glad that it’s just a few hours twice a week~ it’s a great amount of time for her to be away! Not too much and not too little.
Tiffany
Your daughter looked so brave.
My son doesn’t have any developmental delays. But I was still a blubbering, crying, snotty mess the first day he went to a mother’s day out program. I was so ridiculously nervous that I didn’t leave school for 2 1/2 hours. The school’s director had to tell me to leave the office. I just couldn’t take it.
Fast forward 2 years exactly. He’s switched schools is incredibly social and barely waves at me when I drop him off now.
I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been for you! It’ll only get easier with time, wish you both the best!
She is beautiful and I am so glad she liked it and you survived it! A huge step that takes a lot of getting used to!
Heading to preschool was a boon for my little guy who has Autism, he just turned 6 now and he’s doing so well with school and routines because he’s so used to it!
oh my! My darling is 3.5 and I can’t imagine having to send him off on a school bus. Bless! I know though that you are doing absolutely the best thing for her so Kudos to you!
Oh my goodness she is so cute! I’m sure she will be a Blessing to the other children they will love her. It’s a big step and a good one at that!
I would be a complete blubbering mess, too.
Sounds like it’s a really good thing for her, though, so kudos to you for your sacrifice!
It is so hard letting them go for the first time! I cried for days. It does get easier though! She is adorable and her mommy so pretty too:)
So glad she liked it. It’s hard to let them go isn’t it? Brody goes Tues/Thurs but I’m ready!!! I get a lot done.
I can imagine how nerve wracking that would be. I can not imagine sending my almost 3 year old off on a bus a few times a week. Although, I somehow think he’d have the same good attitude about it all like your daughter.
I hope they are able to help her with this intervention to gain those skills she needs.
I’m so glad she had a positive experience. Gotta listen to a mother’s intuition for what each individual kid needs! She looked adorable on her first day!
I think it’s great that jade is able to get this extra attention that she needs. That picture of her getting on the school bus choked me up a bit. You must have really been a wreck. I’m glad to hear she is doing so well at school!
Yes, I was quite a wreck that first day. I still have moments here and there, but doing much better now letting her go. She is really loving her preschool, and I can already see a big improvement in her speech. She’s trying to say more words, and even mimics words now which is a huge step in the right direction.
I can see why you’re nervous, school is a HUGE step! I bet she’ll do just great though
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