Whatever happened to happily ever after? As young girls we grow up with the fairy tale notion that life has it's trials but once you reach that personal accomplishment of finding the Right GUY, then you are set to have a happily ever after life with no trials. And all too often, once that honeymoon phase wears off, we are jolted into reality, and learn much to our heartache that happily ever after never existed.
It's not just with marriage or dating, but with life in general. We set goals in our lives, we reach to accomplish them, and we believe, "If I could just get this" or "Once I earn this…" and then everything will work out afterwards. And then once we reach that, although excited we also experience a sence of sadness…Now What?
Think about when you were growing up, did you dream about the day you would fall in love and get married, or did you dream about all the years of hardwork afterwards to keep that marriage a success? Did you dream about the day when you would earn that college education or achieve that promotion at work? Or did you dream about all the hard work that will now come afterwards because of those achievements?
It is good that we dream. It is good that we dream for noble things. Yet I find we dream of accomplishing a task and then viewing it as if that is the end goal, when infact is it truly just the beginning.
What are you working towards now?
Will that goal you dream of now, will that be your Happy Ever After, or will you still go on living afterwards?
Just a few things I've been pondering as I sit and think, "oh, everything will work out well just as soon as we have…" "oh it will all be just fine once the husband finishes his degree and has a job again." But Happy Ever Afters don't exist. There is no end of trials until we pass from this life into the next. Why not be happy in the moments we are living instead of wishing for future moments that will never come?
It's a great moment to take a self check and ponder, am I grateful for the moments I have now? Or are you forever going to be continually dreaming of what is to come that will never be? Sure the Husband will finish his engineering degree and he will get a job, but that is no guarantee that our marriage will be perfect after that point. What will make our marriage and family life wonderful is the time that we put into it now and continually put into it. The same goes for any goal we set for ourselves in life be it a college education, a promotion at work, or even just your own personal improvement.
We need to rid ourselves of dreaming of Happily Ever After Moments and start cherishing our moments as they are in the here and now, so that one day in the future we can look back and say "I was making my Happily Ever After each day, not waiting for it to find me."
What do you think about Happily Ever After?
Do you think it exists?
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Great article! I think we have all fallen into the trap of thinking Happily Ever After is a real place, when in reality we have to make our own Happily Ever After. Nothing is ever going to be “perfect”, it is our job to make the most out of everything and create our own “perfect” world and Happily Ever After.
I believe there is a happily ever after but I think most of us always want more or better
The fairy tale version of happy-ever-after is a bit distorted, but I think we are capable of creating our own happy-peace-and-contentment-after.
I would, however, love it if I had the part of the fairy tale where the birds, mice, or fairy Godmothers help me with chores around the house
This is a great post! I have to say I am at the point of my life where I can honestly say I am happy. It took a long time to get there but I am here now! Thanks for the reminder:)
So true and it’s great to be reminded! Very well written.
My happy ever after is being happy with myself. I try not to look to others for my happiness.
A relationship definitely can be hard work, but I kinda just fell into mine. I wasn’t looking for anything (relationship wise) but kinda just bumped into him.. Now 6 years later we’re still happily together.. So I’d say I do believe, in a way.
Can’t say I’m at the happily ever after stage yet…I’ve still got a lot of goals to reach, a lot of hurdles to jump but I’ll get there!
I believe in living for the moment but I’m always going to strive to better myself and my situation. As long as I’m happy, that’s all that matters.
It’s hard work!!
Ok I am old and looking back and I can say in my opinion that happily ever after is if you have your health (the most important) people that you love and love you back, it does not have to be family, and something to fulfill your life and it can be a charity, helping the less fortunate, animals, helping people to learn how to read, I guess I mean a do good thing that you believe in!! The extras are a roof over your head, enough money not to worry about the roof, and food to eat, shoes on your feet and clothes on your back. If you have all of these to me it’s happy ever after, a satisfaction you could say, for me that about sums it up, I do have a wonderful husband to share life with but I know things happen and it can all change in a heart beat, and a new journey begins no matter how hard the change:) Probably dosn’t make sense because I am not good at delivering the message!
I do believe in happy ever afters and it’s right now! When I was a little girl I could hardly wait for the next big thing to happen. Thankfully I had a wise mother who saw my tendencies to neglect the Now Moments for the Future Moments and she taught me to look for the good in what was happening NOW. (Not sure this is making sense.) I’m so grateful for her teachings because that is what got me through that whole 3 1/2 month stay in the hotel. I tried really hard to enjoy what was happening NOW instead of wishing I was in my new house. But, I must admit, it’s so much more fun now that we’re in our house!
Your post is so right on the spot. Thanks for letting me comment. Hope you have a super-duper 4th of July.
Great post. Yes, living in the moment is important.. I had my Happily ever after I thought, and my hubby got ill and passed away..I was 40 and widowed and I tell you, floored. I had no idea what I should do etc. I still suffer with that loss, but have managed to make a new life for myself that is a good one, and I am not handling it like I once did. I am remarried, and happy, but know that can change on a dime and so I am making each moment count.